A "Q and A" with Terri
Q: What led you to put your experiences in 2002 into writing?
A: After the first three days of sitting with Jeremy in the hospital, I thought people would need to hear our story. Over the next two weeks, I knew they would, because we met so many people during our stay in Tyler that were just like us – a loved one was in SICU and they were far from home. After experiencing everything that I did, I wanted to give people a sense of the range of emotions you encounter during a trauma. I also wanted to put a face with these feelings and to give hope, encouragement and strength for whatever they’re going through. Most importantly, I wanted to give guidelines on how to help someone in a crisis. Most people will never need them, but for those who will, I think it will certainly help.
Q: What were some of the injuries your son suffered from the crash?
A: There were so many!
- His left foot was broken and required pins and metal plates.
- His right foot was turned completely around.
- The right femur was broken and required a rod.
- The lower halves of his lungs collapsed.
- His ribs were broken.
- His pelvis was broken in four places.
- His left forearm and hand were broken.
- His spleen ruptured and had to be removed.
- He suffered severe brain trauma to the right frontal lobe which affect memory and personality.
- The fourth and fifth discs in his neck were fractured.
- There were chemical burns over 40% of his body.
- He required thirty pints of blood and thirty-four units of plasma and platelets.
Q: How long was Jeremy's entire recovery process?
A. His recovery was actually in phases, but it was accelerated nonetheless. The immediate concerns were his burns and performing skin grafts. Three skin grafts and five weeks later these had healed to the point he could be transferred to Baylor Rehabilitation in Dallas for his brain injury and further physical rehabilitation. After four weeks he was responding cognitively and his wounds were almost healed and he was sent home. He then began daily out-patient treatment for his head injury and further physical rehabilitation and wound care. In November he was released from the out-patient program and then he had his left foot operated on. At this time they inserted plates and pins. In December he had the first of four scar revisions to his waist and back from the chemical burns.
Q: Now, Jeremy was treated at a hospital in Tyler, Texas, which is about 100 miles from your hometown of Dallas. How were you able to deal with the distance between your home and your critically injured son?
A. Because I had to move to Tyler, one of the local churches provided their missionary house for us to live in. However, since we own our own business, this was a double-edged sword. When he was transferred out of SICU, someone had to be with him 24/7. We were required to hire a sitter to stay with him at night. My husband, Kevin, and my older son, Jason, traveled back and forth between Dallas and Tyler two or three times a week. At least one of those days Kevin would bring the computer from the office with him and we would work four or five hours at a time on company business and Jason would stay with Jeremy during the day. Our employees dug in their heels and went the extra mile to help things go as smoothly as they could – one had only been there four months and the other one had been two days! But with everyone's dedication, we all simply made it work.
Q: Have you always been a devout Christian, or did your faith develop over time?
A. My parents played a pivotal part of this because even as a baby, I was brought up in church. I have always been grounded in Christ and have never wavered in my faith. Thank God I had the foundation of faith as a child and chose to develop a close relationship with Jesus. I simply know who God is and that He has never failed me and that He will do what He says He will do!
Q: What role did your faith in Christianity play in Jeremy's recovery?
A. There was never any doubt that God was in control. I know that many people question this because the accident was so unbelievable – a youth group headed to church camp. What safer place could there be? But no, God did not cause or allow this. This happened due to man’s choice and free will. Therefore, I knew that God was in control and this would turn out for good. Because of my relationship with Christ and by reading and applying God’s Word, I knew that His Word was true and that He means business.
I also knew that in order to secure Jeremy’s healing we could never, ever, voice our agreement with all the negative things we were being told. After all, God’s Word declares us healed and that’s what we are – healed! It’s already done and we prayed every healing scripture we could find over Jeremy daily. We also put the “armor of God” on him each day as stated in Ephesians. But this doesn’t mean that we didn’t struggle at times and I recount this very honestly in the book. Healing is a process; miracles are instantaneous. We experienced both.
Q: And how is Jeremy doing today?
A. If you were to meet him today, you would never know he’d been in an accident let alone on his death bed. He speaks clearly and articulately. He attends college and is pursuing his career as a music teacher. The only way you may know the shape he was in is if you see the areas where he was burned, and they look so great you may not even notice.
Q: Your book is extremely well-written for a first-time author. Did you have any previous writing experience?
A. No, I don’t. I don’t even have a college education. But then again, God said he would use the foolish things of the world to confound the wise. What I did have was a willing heart. All I knew was that God wanted me to write this story and share His Word with people. It’s amazing how it’s all come together. He’s actually brought people to me. You simply have to be obedient and He will do the rest.
Q: Your book is actually funny at points because of the humor you were able to mix into it. What advice would you give to parents, spouses or children who find a loved one in a situation like Jeremy's?
A. Remember to allow yourself to feel all the highs and lows. It’s okay to be angry, sad, mad, question – it’s all human and normal. Most people don’t know this and find comfort in being given “permission” to do so. There’s also no specific time for getting over something like this. There are times I still get teary-eyed and it’s okay after all this time. You also need to allow laughter and to welcome and embrace it when it comes. It’s okay to laugh, and after your loved one recovers, it will bring laughter to them as well as you share those stories with them. Most importantly, though, is to stand on God’s Word. Never give up! Mark 11:23 – say it over and over and over again.
Q: What would you say to people who have suffered great loss?
A. God said in Psalm 146:3 He would heal the broken-hearted. Up until a few months ago I suffered from nightmares. It was the day of the accident and I would wake up screaming and crying only to be comforted by my husband that it was all a bad dream. Knowing I could no longer live this way, I went to my pastors who prayed over me and broke those tormenting spirits. I haven't had a nightmare since. This is what God wants for His children - to have peace, joy, and restoration. He longs to heal words that we've heard, images that we've seen, and heavy emotions that we've experienced.
Q: Why did you decide to create the J.B. Laz Foundation, and what does the name mean?
A. The initials "J.B." stand for Jeremy’s nickname given to him by his great-aunt “Vee” – Jer-Boy, and Laz stands for “Lazarus” (appropriately named). We knew that there was a great need for families that are in crisis and decided something unique needed to be done. After all the love and support that was shown to us in Tyler, we knew we had to give back. We all agree that when God does something great, you have a responsibility to relate the experience and to give back.
Q: What are the goals of the J.B. Laz Foundation?
A. We are a grass roots organization and will provide families in crisis with E.S.P. – Essential and Spiritual Provision packages. In cooperation with hospitals, we will make these packages available to families that have a loved in long-term ICU and have been displaced. They will be made available within the first one to three days of hospitalization, and will consist of daily essentials: a tooth brush, tooth paste, deodorant, tissues, comb, brush, shampoo, a note pad and pen. Eventually we want to make available a one-size fits all T-Shirt so that they have something clean to wear, just in case.
